How to support someone going through a challenging situation?
| 10, Oct, 18
October 10 has been established by the World Health Organization (WHO) with the aim of raising awareness about mental health problems and mobilizing efforts for their treatment. Currently, 300 million people suffer from depression, a disorder that has become the leading cause of disability, and 260 million people have different anxiety disorders. With these figures, I want to reaffirm the importance of thinking and educating about mental health, its implications, and how we can support a person who is going through some difficulty.
To begin, I would like to update the meaning we attribute to health. It is commonly assumed that health is a static state that must be achieved as an end goal. In the words of the WHO (1946): "Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." However, from the Gestalt Psychotherapy perspective, the concept of health is broader; it is not a rigid state, but rather a concept in constant movement, a flexible state, it is the capacity we have to make genuine contact with each situation we go through. Here are two examples:
Physical health: if I have an infection and it causes a fever; this is a state of health because my body is reacting to an attack appropriately, generating symptoms that not only warn me of an infection but also help fight it.
Mental health: if I am going through a challenging situation and I feel sad. This is a healthy and appropriate reaction to an experience I am having at the moment.
In other words, health from a Gestalt perspective is about the ability to respond to situations authentically, not a static state devoid of emotion and sensation. In the same vein, illness is understood as: rigidity, neurosis (repetition of patterns), lack of creativity, stillness, avoidance, among others.
A very common mistake in the treatment of mental health conditions is allowing the diagnosis to define people; it seems that once a person receives a diagnosis for an emotional or mental disorder, they become clouded and boxed into it. This is not about denying disorders, but about seeing beyond them, because people are not their diagnosis; they are sons/daughters/parents/siblings/friends who are manifesting a disruption in their functioning in the form of schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.
How to support a loved one with mental and/or emotional disorders?
1. Educate yourself: seeking information on the topic will broaden the understanding of disorders and overcome the judgments surrounding them, which generally originate from ignorance.
2. Differentiate: understanding that all people have different rhythms and understandings of how to approach life will allow you to step out of your own urgency and realize that we all have different needs.
3. Ask: approach the person you want to support and ask them what they need; sometimes it's time, sometimes it's silent companionship, sometimes it's support to start a process, or it could be an ice cream. Establishing patient and loving communication will be fundamental to strengthening the bond.
*If a person is in a critical state, with thoughts of death, immediate action must be taken; there are no false alarms or, colloquially speaking, "tantrums."
4. Allow: provide space for the person to express what they feel and think with confidence, without any judgment.
5. Seek advice: consult with a professional to clarify doubts, weigh ideas, evaluate options.
6. Be there: let the person know that they can count on you and that they can ask for your help whenever they need it.
All of the above is to move past the judgments, categorizations, and reductionisms that can arise from all the erroneous information circulating about what a mental/emotional disorder is and how people can be supported more assertively.
Video: Health is much more than "being well"
Book: "Illness as a Path"